How to lose six years - and 12lb - in just ten days (and yes, it hurts)

Dreading her imminent milestone birthday, SUSANNAH CONSTANTINE took drastic action at a hardcore wellness retreat.

By Susannah Constantine for the Daily Mail

June 3, 2022, I enter my seventh decade. It’s a Friday. Perfect for a major weekend celebration, you might think, a summer party with my three almost grown-up children and my husband and friends and family.

Actually, I’d rather do time in jail. The thought of turning 60 sends a cold chill through women of my generation.

Time was, we’d all start to gather dust as soon as we hit the big five-oh, but nowadays that’s the occasion to get out the cake and prosecco. Sixty, meanwhile? We look at each other and shudder.

Yes, we have embraced some rites of passage — and not just the fun ones. Cropping one’s hair into a sensible, manageable, sandy-blonde bob is a favourite. Hiding a crepey neck under a polo-neck and adopting a fondness for those knitted capes that hide everything is another.

Nowadays, I like to go to a restaurant where I know the menu by heart, so I don’t have to read it at arm’s length. My inbox is a deluge of ‘specialised’ insurance offers, funeral plans, incontinence pants and Stannah stairlifts.

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